Our behavior is formed when we are very young through our observation and imitation of the people around us and predisposed by our inherited genetics. These repeated actions become deeply ingrained habits and routines that we seldom question or attempt to change until they cause us difficulties.
Awareness of our programming is the first step to change. Our awareness can occur when we challenge the actions that we take and search for the reasons why we act in such ways. Then we must decide what and how we want to change. Then we begin by practicing the new behavior over and over until it becomes our new more functional habit.
The resources below can give you some tools to help you in this difficult task of reprogramming your mind to behave differently. In addition to these, the use of hypnosis can help to communicate directly with your subconscious mind, where the programming of the habits reside.
These resources are not meant to replace working with a qualified Psychological Counsellor or Couples Therapist but to be used as an additional resource.
Charles Duhigg provides a very useful flow chart for changing habits that involve identifying the cues, rewards and routine. And below is a simpler graphic that explains the process of habit formation.
From our friends at PsychCentral, here are some very clear steps to change, but you have to do it.
The CEO of Bulletproof, Maneesh Sethi, writes about a techy biohacking device that you wear on your wrist to help you change your habits. I have one that you can try out.
These audio affirmations, when listened to in the background when doing other non-cognitive activities, help to change your subconscious thoughts and hence your attitudes and behaviors.