Change your Mind
Most of us don't pay too much attention to our thoughts. We often assume what we think must be a fact. They are not always facts. They may just be a function of our very creative and complex brain having fun wandering around the cognitive universe. Sometimes our thoughts are irrational and cause us to worry about a negative possibility in the future that we cannot control. We can get caught up in creating an elaborate structure of thoughts that sometimes create an emotional response if the thoughts are not nuetral in content. Those emotions can be pleasant ones or not-so-pleasant ones. The range of therapies that help us to manage these not-so-pleasant thoughts are called Cognitive Behavior Therapy or CBT.
The links below will help you start to learn how to manage the thoughts that are causing you suffering.
Byron Katie has made CBT very effective and accessible to many people. She provides free worksheets and the famous Four Questions to ask yourself when you suspect you are under the influence of an irrational thought.
Dr. David Burns, M.D. provides this very useful handout about the ten common cognitive distortions and explains how to untwist your thinking.
This site is an extensive collection of resources to help you get started.
Thanks to Marsha Linehan for devolping this form of CBT that uses mindfulness and three other skill areas. It has been shown to be an effective therapy for persons with personality disorders.
Based on Dr. Carol Dweck's book, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, her web site describes in simple details the four steps which allow you to change your self-talk from a fixed mindset to a growth mindset. Click here for a chart which describes these two mindsets.